American Jiggle Machine Award, Part II

The other day I wrote of five useless inventions, all competing for the American Jiggle Machine Award. Three mentioned previously were: the residential trash compactor, the in-the-fridge-door ice dispenser and the earlobe cell phone thingy. The two contenders remaining are the Sauna Suit and the weighted blanket.

The Sauna Suit. I refer to the neoprene full-body suit you see folks wearing as they run around Memorial Park or Lady Bird Lake. The suit has elastic bands at the neck, wrists, waist and ankles and is fairly hermetically sealed. When the exercise heats up the body, the heat doesn’t escape, so its wearer sweats puddles. Dramatic weight loss is instant.

Water weight loss, that is.

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